Thursday, June 28, 2012

What the Flames don't want you to know

I was going to do a blog on the Flames needing a first line Centre, but a little trade happened yesterday in the Stampede city. That seems to have gotten the Flames fans’ danders up. The Flames have acquired Dennis Wideman from the Washington Capitals in exchange for minor leaguer Jordon Henry and a 5th rounder in 2013.

This sure has gotten the ire of most Flames fans. Yea, there is much gnashing of teeth, many threatenings, and some have even come to question Feaster’s mental stability. Behold, there is much wickedness among the Flames fans, threatings of crashing down the doors of the Saddledome. You might say they are not happy.

Some people seem to remember that Feaster said there would be no “No Movement Clauses” handed out. Yea, people have come to call him a smooth talking lawyer, who has two tongues. Yea, people have gone a little too far, even calling him a politician.

Yea, the ire of the fans doth not come with the trade, it comes with the $5.25 million and the NO MOVEMENT CLAUSE. (I had to capitalize that to make it look important.)

So my sources had to go undercover to get some classified documents. Yea, these classified documents are the Calgary Flames Bylaws. It seems these documents clearly point out that we must sign all new players with NMC clauses and give them exorbitant amounts of money, and do the belly dance. Once in a while, the dance turns the players off, so the management now brings in authentic belly dancers instead of Jay actually doing the dance. (I am using big words to make myself look important.)

The owners did a lot of research before they added this clause into the by-laws -- they asked 5 people off the streets -- and found the only way they can get people to come to Calgary is to give them a whole bunch of money. The no movement clause was put in to make it look like the players want to stay. Good image. We have worry about what the people think nowadays, you know.

So now that we have Wideman aboard, Jay can try to make a trade. Oh wait; he can't, because everyone seems to have a NTC/NMC. The Flames are researching to see how this happened. We will get back to you with their findings.


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Flames Jambalaya is in no way, shape or form associated with the Calgary Flames Hockey Club or the AHL affiliate, the Abbotsford Heat. This is a fans blog for fans. We just happen to love the Flames, so we write about it.